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Watching porn is really a rite of passage for most men. It begins with a few visuals, like this proverbial Playboy magazine a group of friends passes around well before they are old enough to know what it all means. Eventually a young man discovers the visual and aural stimulation of moving video, and that often begins a lifelong love of porn. In fact, the sore penis that results from much too much porn watching might become a man’s first foray into determining good penis care.

But when a guy begins to take pleasure from pleasure with someone outside the screen, he is frequently disappointed by the vast gulf between what porn teaches him and what really happens in the bedroom. For the uninitiated, here are a few things to never actually expect to translate from the screen to the bed room.

Perfect bodies. All the participants in a porn video are generally very young and healthy. And when they aren’t, the video producers use tricks of camera angles and lighting to hide any flaws. The result is the belief that a woman should look a particular way, and a man should too. That may definitely result in disappointment in the bedroom.

Instant hardness. Men in porn have become rarely seen in a flaccid state. As soon as a woman walks across the screen, they are hard enough to crush diamonds. MEYD The simple truth is that most porn productions use a ‘fluffer’ – a woman whose only job would be to get a man hard before he walks onscreen. What appears to be ‘instant’ really is just an illusion.

She gets off fast. Women in porn seem to feel as if every touch is orgasmic, and they appear to have numerous orgasms throughout one session. The truth is very different. Women usually require a very specific kind of stimulation, for much more than simply a few seconds, in order to get turned on – significantly less to get off.

Noise, noise, noise! A porn video is filled with aural stimulation, which is section of why most guys love it so much. And who wouldn’t? The thing is that women aren’t really likely to make noises like that in the sack. Sure, they might be enthusiastic and make some noise, but the sounds in a porn film won’t likely be replicated in the bedroom.

Money shots. Here’s an interesting stat: porn actors ejaculate somewhere apart from the vagina 81 percent of the time. Most of the time they do it on her body or most commonly, her face. The thing is that 80 percent of ladies in true to life report not liking that one move. So unless she approves beforehand, don’t be prepared to replicate this.

Crazy moves. Remember the ‘fluffer’ and the illusion she creates? A similar thing is true of a woman who can do wild things in porn, like anal sex without the preparation, or double penetration. In each case, the situation has been prepped and carefully coordinated off-camera. Again, don’t expect to replicate things like this!